just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
