Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
