we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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