oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
