So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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