I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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