I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
