At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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