whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
