How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
That was the first time iโve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
