Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
