In the future we'll all be gay
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
