I wish I only lived at night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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