kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
