My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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