I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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