Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
