I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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