If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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