So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
