yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
