Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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