I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
