Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
