One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
