That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
