You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
