Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
