I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
