eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
