Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
