so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's blow job season.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
