Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
