All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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