3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
