Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
