i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
