he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
