Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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