i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
