You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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