he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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