Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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