Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
