My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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