you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
