can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
