I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
