there were more penises there than on chat roulette
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
