I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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