clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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